Mike and Jo live in Manchester and were married in 2017. Mike had previously been married.
What made you decide to download the Toucan app?
Jo: “I learned about Toucan via a friend’s Facebook post and was keen to give it a go. We decided as a couple to have some time every week to talk. We wanted to do more than just talk about our day and this gave us a structure and something positive to talk about.”
What was helpful to you?
Mike: “It’s really helpful to see other people’s stories of things they’ve gone through and then Toucan gives you questions to ask yourself and things to talk about between you. We’ve talked about what we answered and why.”
Jo: “It’s generated discussions that we’ve needed to have, so it’s helped that together time that we have. We’ve done all the modules so far: communication, conflict, loving and money. We find them really easy to do and are eagerly waiting for the next module!”
How have you benefited in your relationship?
Jo: “I’ve looked at the conflict modules a couple of times. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves about why we were hitting conflict early in our relationship. No one gives you permission to have conflict. We did some marriage preparation where arguments were touched on, but almost as a remote thing that wouldn’t happen unless there was a big problem. From Toucan we learned that conflict is normal and can be healthy, it’s how you deal with it that’s important. We’re still trying to work on the tools and strategies and we keep going back to the module as a reference point. I like that you can go back and relook at everything.”
M: “For me it’s about being open and actually talking, trying to talk about emotions, which is not something I’ve done a great deal of before, but I realise it’s something I’ve got to try and do. It’s helped us to grow together and better understand each other.”
Jo: “It’s an app that’s really helped us in our marriage.”
What else do you like?
Mike: “It’s a really great tool. I also like that there’s no time pressure, you can do it at your own pace. Try the app, it’s free and there’s no commitment but it’s worth having a look at.”
Jo: “Just give it a go, it’s so easy to use.”
