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Changing Tides: Habits

Changing Tides · 2 min read

If you’ve been following along with our most recent series, Changing Tides, you’d have read last week about how we can deal with the apprehension and anticipation that comes when things start to change in your relationship for the better. Change can be difficult for many people, even if it’s positive. 

This week we wanted to talk further about how those positive changes can start creating new habits in your relationship. 

In his book Atomic Habits”, James Clear outlines the process in forming good habits that stick. Clear says, the process of building a habit can be divided into four simple steps: cue, craving, response, and reward. 

  1. The cue triggers your brain to initiate a behavior.

  2. Cravings are the motivational force behind every habit.

  3. The response is the actual habit you perform, which can take the form of a thought or an action.

  4. And finally, the rewards are the end goal of every habit.

You can read more about that here.

As things start to change for the better in your relationship it’s important to build habits, whether big or small, to maintain those positive changes. 

Here is an example: My partner and I go on at least one date a week without fail. That date inevitably looks different each week. It’s not always dinner and movie out, especially since we have a little one around these days. Some weeks our date can look like a night in doing art together or a morning walk around the park. The habit we have formed is a weekly time to just be with each other, and any week we miss that time we really feel it. We feel a little disconnected and off so it’s important for us to maintain that positive habit. 

What positive habits do you and your partner have? Is it a cup of tea in bed in the morning? Or a morning run together after the kids head off to school?

Whatever it is — keep it up! It’s these small things that help strengthen and grow your relationship. 

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