Christmas gift Photo by tijana drndarski Unsplash

How to choose a gift for your partner based on how long you've been together

Love and Sex · 4 min read

Deciding what Christmas present to get your partner (if you’re doing gifts at all this year) is often tricky, regardless of how long you’ve been together. We have a few suggestions that may spark some ideas though!

Before you start shopping it’s worth having a conversation with your partner about Christmas presents. How are you both doing financially? Would it help to set a budget for your spending on each other? You may not want to do presents at all this year, and it’s fine if you feel that way. There are plenty of other ways to celebrate Christmas without giving gifts.

Once you’ve had that discussion, and if you’ve decided to buy gifts for one another, here are some suggestions:

First Christmas together

Oh you lucky thing! If this is your first Christmas together you could probably literally buy anything, because you’ve got no history of gift giving between you both. The temptation here could be to overspend — and potentially setting a dangerous precedent for future Christmases! It may also be tempting to buy something flashy to cover up that you don’t know each other well enough yet to buy something super thoughtful. If you’re stuck for ideas — just ask them what they would like. It’s not a cop out, and that way you can be certain that your first Christmas gift will be a good one.

Third Christmas together

This Christmas can be tricky — largely due to the three year itch’! You’ve been together long enough to know each other well, and this may be a make or break moment in your relationship. No Christmas gift is going to be the deciding factor if you are having those conversations (and we recommend you check out some of our other blogs on this issue) but choosing a gift that shows you really know the other person can be difficult. Have a think about your partner’s love language — would they really want a present or could you show you care in another way? Maybe homemade vouchers’ for doing acts of service or plan a day together for some quality time. And if you’re not sure about your partner’s love language you can find out more in this blog.

Fifth Christmas together

Wow you guys are basically pros at this point, right? Hopefully the previous years are all triumphs and you’ve been thanked for your gifts! Maybe it’s time to reflect on whether your partner’s hobbies or interests have changed in the last five years? Is there something that they’ve recently taken up, or something they say they’ve wanted to do/​start but haven’t done so yet? That’s probably a good place to start with your gift this year.

Tenth + Christmas together

Ok, do you really need our help at this point? Then again, it can be hard to come up with yet another great idea after nine Christmases together already. Our suggestion for you is to tap into some nostalgia and give a gift that reflects a favourite memory you both share. Now this idea might be easier to execute if you’re a creative person but plenty of websites specialise in creating photo books, photo mugs, photo canvases …you get the idea. You could choose a picture from days gone by or pull together a memory book celebrating the years you’ve spent together. 

Whatever you give to each other this year, make sure you also give the gift of time and energy into your relationship. After a year like 2020 I think we can all recognise that our relationships with one another are the most valuable thing we have.



Tips for Christmas shopping and a stress free celebration

Why arguing with your partner isn’t a sign that you’re not meant to be together

Small ways to show you love and care even when you’re both busy

8 things you need to know about marriage and happily ever after

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