Dogs in Christmas costumes yearly photoshoot by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

Should your Christmas traditions change...?

Communication · 3 min read

Take a second and think back to the very first Christmas you spent together as a couple. What’d you do?

Did you go to your family gathering or your partner’s? Did you pop crackers at dinner or gather around the television to watch a nostalgic claymation Christmas film?

Did you go to a Christmas Carols service at church or drive around looking at the Christmas lights with Bing Crosby playing in the car?

Perhaps you were able to fit everything in that each of you wanted to do and it was the perfect Christmas! If so, way to go! 

Now, think about the next Christmas you spent together. Did you do the exact same things or did you have some new ideas and desires about how you wanted to spend your time together? 

It’s what we’ve always done…

Everyone comes into a relationship with their own expectations for Christmas. The first few holiday seasons that you spend together can be a bit challenging to figure out. You may find spending a Christmas away from your family for the first time really difficult, or that your partner doesn’t find opening the stockings while still in pyjamas the most exciting part of the day. What you eat for Christmas dinner might even look different. 

The more Christmases you spend together, the more you understand what things you and your partner really value and want to keep in your own relationship- like my wife’s family has always gone to the cinema on Boxing day, and my family always has a puzzle box with a surprise inside that everyone races to open first. These are things we both love and want to keep in our future Christmases. 

Traditions like these are very important to many people. They say It just wouldn’t be Christmas without __________.” But the hard truth is that not all couples’ individual desires for Christmas are compatible. What do you do then? 

New traditions…

Creating new traditions for Christmas, or anything really, is a beautiful part of being in a relationship. My wife and I started our own tradition of decorating the house while laughing through Netflix’s worst original Christmas movies (we’ve seen them all). Each Christmas has looked different for us thus far, but we know the traditions that are most important to each of us and make sure to keep those special things in every year. 

In this article on How to introduce new traditions to your family’, the author talks about how important traditions are to help create a sense of unity and belonging, and then gives some practical tips and examples on how to start something new. 

Even if this is your 50th Christmas together, it’s never too late to start something new. Get creative and find something you both love to do! 


The Toucan Together team wishes you a very Merry Christmas! 

Toucan Together is the #1 relationship wellness app for couples: • build friendship and greater intimacy • develop and deepen communication • resolve conflict in healthy ways • learn to speak each other’s Love Languages • deal with tough times and grow a fresh vision for marriage • manage money well together. It’s FREE! Visit www​.tou​can​to​geth​er​.com

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