We interviewed Tim and Emily about their experience with Toucan Together. They’ve attended marriage courses before and had lots to share about the app.
Tell us a bit about yourselves
Emily: We are peripatetic teachers and musicians, and live just outside Birmingham with our two beautiful girls. We have been married for 20 years. As a family we enjoy playing card games and cycling during the warmer months. We love playing music together and also enjoy a good giggle playing tennis or table tennis when we get the opportunity.
What made you decide to try using Toucan Together?
Tim: In the past we have been to marriage seminars and have read books about being loving partners but we thought it would be refreshing to try this more interactive and collaborative approach to invest further in our marriage together.
What did you like about the app?
Emily: We instantly liked the upbeat feel to Toucan and really benefited from working on our own attitudes and thinking how we could change. I like the focus is on making changes for yourself. It’s easy to use, and I like that it’s interactive and varied.
Tim: The most refreshing aspect of the resource was watching the couple videos, which gave interesting viewpoints and new angles to the topic areas from a range of experienced people including those who had been married longer than us. It’s great to have real, honest answers from couples, I can identify with their responses.
The ‘couple time’ slots were timed well with sensitive questions and relevant discussion points, which we found has brought us more unity.
Emily: The graphics are fun and vibrant and appropriately used to illustrate emotions and thought patterns. There are really useful suggestions for changing behaviours going forwards and chances to reflect on how you can put this into practice.
How did you benefit?
Emily: It makes us think deeper and discuss issues. Overall we feel closer together and more open in our discussions about the topics covered and more on the same page which is healthy for us both.
It is valuable to hear how others have experienced the same sort of issues and learn how they have overcome them.
Tim: The resolving conflict module raised some issues in our minds, which have been left unresolved over time, sometimes due to avoiding confrontation and other times just lack of space to talk. It revealed that we need to discuss some topics in more detail, and with sensitivity. Finding the time for this is a challenge and our busy work/life commitments can easily get in the way, so we’ve shelved the discussion for another day!
Which topics did you choose to cover?
We have been helped in our understanding of each other’s thought processes and know our methods of communication. It was useful to understand body language and how to listen to each other more deeply on a daily basis which has improved our chatting at the end of the day.
This was interesting! We laughed about the types of reaction that people have and could relate to the examples. Again we found it useful to hear real examples of exasperation and how to handle issues in a peaceful way to bring quicker resolution. It was a brilliant reminder to time conflict resolution well, and the art of listening carefully without reacting.
This was enlightening to have the time to think about our intimacy and how our daily behaviours have a knock on effect to our closeness. The suggestions were insightful and the module made it easier to talk about this aspect of our marriage, which can get awkward to discuss at times. The open and frank content broke down the topic effectively, facilitating responses and reflection.
How did you engage with Toucan Together?
Because of the flexible nature of the resource, we found we could do parts of it separately and rejoin at the appropriate points, but we actually found being in the same room on separate devices helpful to see reactions and to laugh together in response to the humorous elements.
What would you say to other couples about the app?
We recommend the app because of its original format, content and individual approach, which has helped us. We think it could benefit those married for a few or many years due to the real and honest stories shared and the interactive experience of using Toucan.
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